Airports, you either love them, or hate them. I only fly about twice a year if that. But I have noticed a couple of humurous things that happen. Like waiting in line for a flight for example. As soon as one bright spark decides its time to get up, the whole place gets into line. One guy is all it takes to get the crowd in line and i'm left sitting here because im not standing up when the flight isn't for another hour!
There are many different types of people in the airport. Sometimes spotting them all is like going to the zoo. I suppose the below beasts would be the extreme cases but they do excist! See if you can spot yourself in any of them.
The Rusher. The Rusher can't seem to get out of the place quick enough. He is usually the first in line waiting for the plane to leave and the first to get his bag and get off the plane when it lands, or gets near the country. You can tell its a Rusher because it is usually a man and it is usually wearing shorts. As soon as a tiny bit of the planes rubber scraps the landing strip he stands up. He gets his bag and runs to the door. Hitting people with his bag on the way out. Some Rushers aren't far off trying to pry the door of the plane open with their cold dead hands. They usually sit near the front so they can make a swifty escape.
The Businessman. The Businessman, is well, all business. He rarely talks or makes eye contact. He is usually spotted with a leather bound suitcase, a blue tooth ear thing, a shirt and tie and a look of self importance. The businessman is a frequent flyer and knows the drill. He usually closes his eyes on flights. There isn't much to say about this mysterious beast. As he trys to avoid human contact at all times. He is almost like a white rhino with a laptop.
The Loud Family. These people usually travel in packs of four or more. There is the dominate male, you can tell he is the dominate one by his fat stomach, bushy moustache and red face. He is often seen leading the way and makes all the big calls for the pack such as, which way the gate is, or whether there is enough time to stop for a burger king. Next in line is the alpha female. You can tell she is the dominate female because, she can be heard before she is seen screaming at her children, often seen with a stiff drink and orange skin. If you look closely you can see a hint of regret in her eyes about going on the holiday. You often see her looking over at boarding gates and thinking about making a runner and starting a new life. Next are the offspring. You can tell they are the offspring because they are usually bickering between eachother, the howls of non stop whinging can be heard from them, even though they are going to Disneyland.
The Annoying *****. This person doesn't like to follow the rules. They usually try to use electronics on the plane, no doubt to check their myspace and begrudginly turn them off in the interest of "safety" after being asked 5 times by the air hostess. They can often be seen chatting very loudly into her phone about the most inane subjects and chewing gum. They wear shorts everywhere even if they are arriving back into a cold country and love to get tanned. And they ALWAYS have sunglasses, even in the rain.
Then I suppose there is the normals, who just want to get out alive. Im sorry if you don't fit into any of these categorys i'm sure that is upsetting for you.
Anyway thanks again, goodbye
